A Break, A Pause

I wrote this under the influence of a lot, sitting on my own at a bar watching people in presidents week, i've decided not to give a shit about whether it makes sense or even means anything any more, there's another like this in my notepad that's even more ridiculous, hi hippies.

"These people around their shallow company, it seems absurd yet wonderful. The casual liquid security they find is easy and aged. Bonds through our intoxication, humour, and less these days; our adversity. After all, there is less.
When it does come, i see alone, static triumph above xxx, my mental survival is what's important. Here i am, comforted within my own mind, i can take pride in this.

On a saturday night, cold under heat lamps, i am at least unpretentious, writing alone, not to create an image to those around me but for myself. I am not above, i am not below, i am merely a human, first and foremost, expressing myself. I cannot be truly alone whilst containing myself, i know what i can create, where i have stood watching visitors and jaded lifers walk by.

I am not confined, i may have made peace with my anger and leaked vulnerability. Those i see with a mind i can relate to and appreciate are clearer, however few, even if they don't know it. Being close isn't even an issue anymore, just knowing they exist is enough.

How my father and mother allow each other their anxieties, fears and pains, and get sustenance from each other is a great thing to me, i hope i am lucky enough to compliment someone so well one day."