Sleep

"Last night, i imagined that if i fell asleep, i would never wake up. It worked, and i was dead.

 As it turns out, it was a lot like being alive. I could see, and i could feel. To start with, the things i could see and feel were lifelike, tangible, and as real as you, i, a pen or a piece of paper. I couldn't tell whether they were things i'd seen before, but the brain is a powerful thing, and it seemed to be taking me to places, views and objects that i wanted to be around. They would float in and out of my grasp, i was running through clouds, or chasing a sunset.
The clouds were never shaped like anything, but as a child they were always seahorses, countries, the blankets the stars would put on at night. I could talk forever about all the things they were..

 As time passed(or i imagine it did) in this new state, my attention span would flit between these places slower and slower, but i couldn't hold onto a sensation any longer, or quite make out the distance between myself and my surroundings. I imagine this was because my brain began to run out of batteries, i'd heard that it does this a few hours after you die..

 I aged all over again, the vivid, colourful, untouched sparks of life and living were slowly replaced by withdrawn, simpler, basic sensations. Despite what you may imagine, this was ok, to me it seemed like everything was just that much, and nothing more.

 I became aware of a few things, i could neither see myself, or imagine what i could see with. I knew that at one point, some time, i had had eyes, but this was not them, they were not this, this was something else. I started to have thoughts again, and even a kind of a conscience. I had no body, no weight but that which my mind could give me. These thoughts weren't in colour, but nor did they need to be, no regret was had for anything i had left behind.

 Some would mourn for me, a mother that bore me, a few lovers, and the loves i called my friends. Some people might cry, without ever really having known me, perhaps just needing a reason to feel sad and grieve. I remember understanding this a long time ago, even doing it myself, but here i could not. A lot had changed since then. Some would not bat an eyelid, but this was fine for them, and for I. Many would tell those i held close that i was in "a better place now", but that was a lie, this new, monochrome passage was neither better nor worse, above or below, it simply was, unaffected, constant, and calm. I thought of the ocean at night, at a time when nothing yet had broken the surface.

 I imagined all of the thoughts my mind could imagine, for what seemed like forever, free of emotion, just a quiet, clean air of acceptance. That was what was.

 I had had enough of being dead, so i was not. I saw a person in a bed between a single door cupboard and a plain white wall. That was me. My room only has one window, out of which i can see a mound of earth, and in the early spring a few flowers i've never known. Past the earth is a playground, which you can see from the floor above. I live alone, a pretty girl lives next door but i don't know her name, just like the flowers.

 Tomorrow night, i will imagine something new."